Saturn gets new bling, finds out it was from Canal Street

WCIP satellite feeds bring us this breaking news: our solar system's fifth planet has a previously unseen extra ring. Described by scientists as "unruly," this exciting discovery is partially overshadowed by the fact that this ring is neither flawless nor laden with gems. 

WCIP advises Saturn to seriously consider upgrading in the fiancee department - after all, the whole point of a new ring is envious glances on the street and in elevators.